Friday, 17 March 2017

Emotional Abuse


A lot of people can go through emotional abuse daily without even realising, and those who are the emotional abusers may also not realise they are doing it either.  In my opinion emotional abuse can be more harmful than physical abuse as it can undermine the way we think about ourselves and it can lead us to have a false sense of reality, or feel unworthy or feel like opinions or feelings may not matter.  Male and female abusers tend to have high rates of personality disorders or have underlying issues within themselves or their own lives which cause them to behave this way - of course there is no excuse for this type of behaviour regardless whatever underlying issues that person may have.

The first step of overcoming emotional abuse is to realise it is happening.

 Below I have included some signs you can look out for, although it could also be the case you read the signs and realise you are the abuser, if you notice the signs that is the first step and you can get help.


You feel guilty often

Do you feel as if you don’t even know what you’ve done wrong sometimes but find yourself feeling guilty? An emotionally abusive partner will find multiple opportunities consistently to point out what you are doing wrong – as a way to gain a sense of power over you.

You do as they say to avoid an argument

Do you feel as if you have to do certain things to avoid an argument?  This is not how things should be in a relationship, friendship, or whatever you are referencing.. You should take this as a major red flag in any kind of relationship, it is not normal behaviour and you do not have to do anything you do not want to do, examples: Going somewhere you don't want to go, not speaking to people you would normally speak to, sexual acts, and lots more.



They refuse to talk about your feelings or take your feelings into account

A healthy relationship is one where you and your partner can discuss problems, feelings and especially hurt with each other, as well as all the good points of course.  A person guilty of emotional abuse doesn’t want to hear about your pain especially if they are the ones who have caused it.  Does your partner always claim that everything’s your fault? Are they incapable of taking responsibility for their actions? Do you feel bad when you spend time with your friends and family or feel like you can't make plans without him/her?  This is just one of the many ways emotionally abusive people will try to be dominant over you, and it’s not healthy - you should not be putting up with it.

They keep you on a short leash

Emotional abusers/controlling partners tend to keep a close eye on you when you are apart. These partners mistake this behaviour for “care” or try to convince you that's why they are like that. But it’s actually control and it's not okay.  Beware of angry or emotional signs of jealousy when you talk to a person of the opposite sex or someone shows up on your Facebook page or twitter account of the opposite sex, he or she will make you feel as though you cannot talk to the opposite sex at all and things shouldn't be that way.

They Threaten You In Subtle Ways

Most people can identify a physical abuser. It’s simple to notice as they hit you, however emotional abuse is far more subtle and a lot of the time can go unrecognised, you may think it could never happen to you without noticing but sometimes things can start off very small.  Some will threaten to leave you if you do certain things or if certain things were to happen, and blame that choice on you. If your partner turns round and says they will leave you if you get fat, that is also emotional abuse, or it could even be as simple as threatening to leave you if you do not do something they want as mentioned above.  Some abusers will threaten to hurt or even kill themselves – and blame that choice on you: taking no responsibility for their own choices while fully putting the blame of their own pain or actions on you.

They make you doubt yourself

Everybody feels self-doubt, sometimes,  however there is a difference when it is caused by another person repeatedly in your relationship.  They will make you doubt your own observations, memory and sanity.Sometimes they will deliberately lie to you to confuse you and make you doubt your perceptions especially if they are trying to cover their own tracks, or they will argue and wear you down until you don’t trust what you know is true, although beforehand you were 100% sure.  Sometimes they will straight out deny what you saw or heard, even if the proof is right in front of them, causing insult to your own intelligence.  This is their way of breaking you down, be aware of the signs and ensure you don't let it happen.  Know your worth, know your intelligence and never let a man or anyone for that matter take that from you.

They give then take away

Someone who loves you will tell you they love you and no matter what happens that love will remain.  Someone who is trying to control you will make that offering of love conditional to certain times or circumstances.  They will use the phrases "I love you......but..." or threaten to end the relationship if you do not change certain behaviours or do certain things, which is similar to other things mentioned in this post.

You feel as though you are walking on egg shells

When you are in a relationship with someone who cares about you, you wake up feeling supported and that's exactly how your partner should make you feel, if you are in a relationship with an emotional abuser, you will wake up, live and go to bed in a state of anxiety wondering when the next time they are going to be annoyed with you or upset with you. You will feel a consistent, irritating discomfort that you will unknowingly offend, insult, upset or provoke your partner into anger, disappointment or rage at any given moment.

You are constantly judged, humiliated and criticised. 

Does your partner/friend/family member consistently make fun of you or put you down in front of others?  Do they tease you and use sarcasm as a way to degrade you repeatedly when in other people's company?  Do they try to claim it was just a joke afterwords when you are alone?  These are all signs of emotional abuse and you should take action.



You now know some of the signs, if you are in this situation or know of someone who might be, show this post to them and make them aware this behaviour isn't normal and they do not deserve to be treated like this.  Know your worth!

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

Blogging: Future Hopes and Dreams




  • Create Better Content: Right now I never really know what to post, I post what literally pops into my head and don't give it too much thought, if it pops into my head I'll post it.  I plan to try and give posts more thought, look at my post views and see what people are reading the most and take it from there.
  • Boost Revenue: My ultimate goal for my blog is to boost my post and page views - which I think is all any blogger wants, no one wants to be posting posts no one is reading.  Every blogger wants recognition.  I plan to try my best to boost my revenue within the upcoming months and come up with some sort of plan as to how I'm going to do it.  Right now all I use to advertise my website and posts are twitter and bloglovin'.
  • New Logo: I plan to create a new logo for my blog, my allaboutkelz logo is pretty basic and was made extremely quickly when I first created my blog, I plan to create a new more up-to-date logo at some point.
  • Re-Design: My blog design is pretty simple, I can't create super fancy templates so I pretty much just use blogger's original simple layout and then change the background by changing the image link in the html coding - I plan to try and sort out and re-design my blog, but I'm not a fan of super fancy so I want it to remain kind of simple, just a bit better looking.
  • Create Better Images: I always see other bloggers with amazing professional photos and I wonder how they do it, I hope to be able to go down the road of professional photographer like photos on my blog.


Monday, 13 March 2017

Mother's Survival Kit - Mothers Day On A Budget


I came across the idea and I absolutely love it! Ideal for those on a very tight budget, all you need is a medium sized basket, jar, drawstring bag - whatever your choice - and some extremely cheap items to go inside, and it's a very thoughtful gift. I have browsed online to find some ideal items you could include, as well as some of my own.  I reckon it would be a good idea to include a note of what each item is for. 

If I were to create one it'd be something like this: 

1. Paracetamol - because being a mum means needing them often. 
2. - Tissue - to dry the tears over the years. 
3. Eraser - to remind you that all mum's make mistakes. 
4. A puzzle piece - to remind you that you are an important piece in your daughter's life. 
5. Tea bag (or coffee sachet if your mum prefers)- to remind you to sit down and relax. 
6. A marker - to remind you you leave a good mark wherever you go. 
7. A toothpick - because you pick out the good in all situations. 
8. A cotton ball - to cushion the rough times ahead. 
9. Fabric square - for all the patching and mending you do. 
10. Paper clip - because you hold everything together. 
11. Marbles - to replace the ones you've lost and will lose again
12. A heart to remind you I love you.
You can include whatever you like, all of which are small and cheap items to buy, or you could even have them lying around the house. 

I think it's a really cool gift and I'd love to get a thoughtful present like this.




Do you have any cool and cheap ideas? Let me know in the comment section below - I'd love to hear your unusual ideas!


Mothers Day Gift Baskets: On A Budget


Gift baskets are a very good idea if you are on a tight budget. You can create them using any theme and spend as little or as much you like depending what you would like to include within your basket. During Christmas time I used the gift basket idea with a friend using alcohol theme, I wished I'd thought of it sooner before buying lots of other gifts for everyone else.  Number one is my very own gift basket I created for my friend, the rest of the baskets I gathered from several different websites on the internet to show you the types of gift baskets which can be created.

One: Alcohol Gift Basket


I made this for my friend using a basket (£5 from factory shop) clear wrap, ribbon and tag, frozen cocktails, blue wicked, kopparberg, and £1 cocktail cans from Asda.

 Two: Pamper Gift Basket



You can create a spa type gift basket using towels, face cloths, face masks, shower gel, body wash, mini wine, chocolate, pretty much anything you consider needing for a spa day! This could also include exfoliating gloves, self tan, hair dye, nail varnish, a proper pamper set!

Three: Candle Gift Basket



As above you could create this unique and unusual Yankee Candle wax melt flower scenario or you could create baskets like you've seen above and include candles, wax melts, wax burners etc. Ideal for any candle lover.

Four: Baking Gift Basket



Ideal for anyone who loves baking.  You can include items like above and could also add cupcake cases, cutting tools, cake decorating items, flour, eggs, all the usual baking ingredients, a very unique and thoughtful gift for any baking lover!

Five: Weight Loss Gift Basket



Are you struggling to find a gift for those trying to lose weight? can't get them chocolates? Lots of people are now taking part in weight loss programmes, be it slimming world, weight watchers, juice plus, Cambridge weight loss plan, whatever the plan or even if they are only healthy eating you can create a gift basket to suit them.  If they are using a weight loss company you could include their products (chocolates, food, shakes, tablets) and include healthy eating recipe books and tips and hints. You could also add a few candles or bath bombs to make it look pretty.

Six: Simple Gift Basket



You don't have to spend lots of money to make a basket up, you can get a small basket and include prosecco, some body wash, a small candle, some chocolates and some moisturiser and be good to go!

Seven: Classy Gift Basket



Not quite sure of a theme? You could choose a nice pale pink or rose gold colour theme and make it classy, include prosecco or champagne and some champagne glasses, some pale pink or rose gold tissue paper and some flowers and chocolate box or bath set box to match and that's your box ready to go, there really is something for everyone!

Eight: Mixed Gift Basket



You don't HAVE to have a theme! That's only a suggestion. You can just include your loved one's favourite things, or make it at random, you can't go wrong with some alcohol, teddy, chocolates, candles, sweets, and a LOVE sign. Ideal for most mum's out there, however you could make it more personal and add their favourite things depending on the person. You could include a bowl and their favourite cereal, yes.... ANYTHING.

Nine: Gardening Gift Basket



It just makes sense to use a plant pot rather than a gift basket for this one, if you don't really know what to include you could visit a store which sells gardening stuff and just pick items at random, gardening gloves is always a must, some garden shears, a small spade, some seeds to plant, grass seed, and some cute garden ornaments!

Ten: DAD Gift Basket



I am aware not everyone has a mum to buy gifts for on mothers day, so this one is for the dad's who play both roles! Props to them by the way! This can include men's grooming products, their fave magazines or books, fave annuals, men's toiletries, gadgets, spare phone charger, a wallet, pretty much anything! Only you know what would suit that special man in your life.

Thank you for reading, I hope you found some of these ideas useful!


Tuesday, 7 March 2017

My Wish List: Ebay Edition

       UNFILTERED

Here I have put together every single item on my ebay watch list no matter how random or unnecessary for you to have a look at. Some of it I may never actually buy, but most of the times when saving an item I have good intentions to purchase at some point. I don't have anything super exciting on my list, but you may see something you love on the list!

You can click on each picture to redirect yourself to the ebay listing of each individual item for full listing details.

Underneath each picture I have explained my reasons for adding each item to my watch list.


Elf Lip Exfoliator - I have extremely dry lips and it is a serious problem when it comes to wearing liquid lipsticks, due to my lips drying up when it is applied and them looking absolutely disgusting and chapped - so I saved this exfoliator thinking it may solve my problem, however just haven't gotten around to buying yet.


I don't have a lot of winter clothes, so I saved this because I'm low on jumpers or long sleeved tops, plus I really love the colour of it - and it's cheap - bonus!
Labret Bar - I saved this to put in my top helix piercing on my ear, I love it. I have no idea why I haven't ordered it yet, I kind of watch stuff on ebay and then just forget about them by accident.



Luxury Hot Chocolate - I went on ebay searching the words luxury hot chocolate because I was given a sachet at college and it was the most amazing hot chocolate I've drank. I'm pretty sure it looked a lot like this, but I'm not 100% it's the correct one, hence why I haven't actually ordered yet.


Greys Anatomy Quote Phone Case - For those of you who don't know, I am a huge Grey's Anatomy fan, I absolutely love it. I have spent the last however many months binge watching from season 1 and I am extremely upset it is coming to an end. I also love quotes so I instantly fell in love with this phone cover.


Grey and Black Top - I love the lace arms on this top, majority of my clothes are grey and black also, so this top would be perfect for me, I'm definitely going to buy it soon.


Cat Toy - I thought this toy would keep my furbabies amused, trying to get the mouse from the inside, and its under £5 which is a bonus.


Pink Sofa Bed - When I move house I want a sofa bed in my spare bedroom instead of an actual bed, and omg the colour of this one is amazing. I'm not sure my partner will let me get it though lol


Pale Pink Bedding - I am literally in LOVE with this bedding. I will definitely be purchasing my set soon!


Grey Damask Wallpaper - I plan to put this as a feature wall in my living room when I move house. I wanted it in this house and didn't do it and ended up regretting it.

Black Sofa Bed - Incase my partner doesn't let me get the pink one - haha.

Pink Drill - Because why not? Handy and it's pink. I need.


Top/Dress - Jumper dresses and long tops to wear with tights are my thing at the moment, I cannot decide on a colour though, I quite like the burgandy. Maybe I will get them all!

Storage Drawers - They're pink and they're handy, I think these would be perfect for storing makeup and other beauty products.
Desktop Bin - Mini desktop bin would be ideal for my dressing table for cotton pads and wipes! The pink one of course.



Stick On Lights - I want these for under my kitchen units, however I am waiting till we move before getting anything for the house.



Silver Glitter Wallpaper - Wow how amazing is this? I need to talk my man into letting me put this in our bathroom or at least somewhere. ANYWHERE.


Gel Nail Starter Kit - I can dream that one day my nails will be long enough to get this.


Memory Book - I really want to start scrap booking using items from my memory box, using cinema tickets, receipts etc. I'm excited to start, I just need to buy this and some other materials.


Silver Wallpaper - I really like this wallpaper, I'm just not sure where I'd put it though.

After Wax Lotion - Because I bought a waxing kit and no after wax lotion.

Grey Laundry Basket - I really need a new laundry basket, I wanted a wicker one but they seem to be expensive, then I seen this and thought it was ideal since my house is practically all grey. I will be ordering this when I move.


Grey Top - Same reasons as before, I really need long sleeve tops, and as you will know by now grey is one of my favourite colours.
Fitted Bed Sheet - We've been needing more for a while. Apparently you can lose bed sheets. Or at least I can anyway.


Skinny Protein - Okay I will admit I'm not 100% sure what this is, but I use Protein Works meal replacement shakes and they taste good and work wonderfully so when I seen this skinny protein I got a little excited. I plan on reading more into it before p

What's In My Bag: College Edition


I decided rather than do the usual what's inside my bag post, I'd do a college edition instead and show what I carry to college every day - I mean, that's what I lug around mostly as that's where I spend majority of my time. On the weekend when I'm off I've gotten into the habit of not carrying a bag at all, as we tend to go out in the car, so I just grab my purse and keys and off I go.

Below is my picture of all the contents of my college suitcase. I carry my essential folder f and note taking book, pencil case filled with all the usual essentials, a comb, because every girl needs a comb sometimes -ha! A makeup bag with emergency essentials inside (paracetamol, sanitary pad and emergency tampons) a hole punch, planner diary, my purse, and water! These are the items which are always inside my suitcase, except my keys are missing from this picture - they are only put inside once I'm actually out the door.




I decided to add an extra what's in my pocket section as I always have the same items in my pocket on college days too! 

As pictured below, I always carry the following items; Money (the amount varies, I always have at least £5 in my pocket), random receipts - yes I always have at least one stuffed in my pocket, taxi card number, my bank card, and most importantly my bus unirider. I carry these items in my pocket for ease of access to save going in and out of my suitcase constantly. 


What's in YOUR bag? Dare to show or tell? Feel free to leave a comment in the comments section below 

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